Friday Night Funkin' The Musical
Random Encounters
Do you smoke? Do you drink?
Do your armpits tend to stink?
Why'd you dye your messy hair?
Do you change your underwear?
Sorry, we should really go
We were here to see a show
Meeting you's been such a treat
Yo, your dad is super sweet
Maybe I wasn't clear
You two are staying here
Tell me about your work?
You gotta job, you little jerk?
(Yeah, about that)
No, sir, I'm still in school
Learning is pretty cool
One day with my degree-
You'll never be as good as me
No one dates my daughter till they earn the right (this may seem impolite)
I don't know you, I don't like you, there's no chance I might (but we were not planning to invite)
And nothing brings me more malicious and depraved delight (our parents, don't take this as slight)
Than to bury girlfriend's boyfriend on a funkin' Friday night (enjoy the rest of your funkin' Friday night)
Do you spit or pick your nose?
Own a gun? Wear women's clothes?
Suck your thumb or bite your nails?
Get beaten up by alpha males?
Listen, lady (call me mom)
Normally I'm much more calm
But tonight I'm on a date
So all these questions gotta wait
Got any moles or warts?
Rashes of any sort?
Do you eat human meat?
Suckle at the devil's teat?
What does that even mean?
I'm just a normal teen
Do you know the muffin man?
Or have a Roth retirement plan?
No one dates our daughter till they earn the right (this may seem impolite)
We don't know you, we don't like you, there's no chance we might (but we were not planning to invite)
And nothing brings us more malicious and depraved delight (our parents, don't take this as slight)
Than to bury girlfriend's boyfriend on a funkin' Friday night (enjoy the rest of your funkin' Friday night)
Please give your perspective
On modern non-objective art
Sorry, no thanks, I gotta be frank
That we're due to depart
Do you have tattoos?
What size are the shoes you're wearing?
We need to know, has your appendix been removed?
What's your blood type? Been to Spain? (No- yes- about 11)
Were you ever potty trained? (Oh, I guess, around age 7)
Do you recycle glass and cans? (I don't see how)
Tell us all your future plans- (these questions matter, now–)
Mom, dad, since you've shown up
Things have really blown up
Look at me, I'm a grown up
I can make my own decisions
Girlfriend, don't be silly
Do you think he's really
Good enough for you?
Is this the best you can do?
He's not drop-dead gorgeous
Smells like Old Spice and oranges
I don't really mind
Plus they say that love is blind
Does he brush twice a day?
Eat gluten, soy, eggs, or whey?
See, you don't even know
This dumb kid has got to go
You're being so unfair
(Listen, pumpkin)
He's not a creep, I swear
(Go on, dump him)
We'll be together forever
(Don't protest)
Our kids will have blue hair
(We know best)
(Dating is the worst)
Girlfriend ain't your girlfriend, so get out of sight
She's a winner, you're a loser, and you know I'm right
I hope this domineering message ain't becoming trite
So go be someone else's boyfriend on your funky Friday night
Are you hard of hearing or just not that bright?
I won't let my darling daughter date a parasite
So beat it, scram, vamoose, get lost, and don't forget to write
'Cause you're no longer girlfriend's boyfriend on this funky
Boyfriend cannot date you till he earns the right
He just met you, barely knows you, but I'm scared he might
He's clearly smitten with his wit and yes, he seems polite
But boyfriend needs a different girlfriend for his funky Friday night
This discussion's over, I won't have this fight
Why'd we ever let you sign up for that dating site
He may seem positively dreamy, straight up dynamite
But boyfriend's still a swingin' single on this funkin'
I don't care if you're right
I love him just as he is despite
He's not a big star or socialite
He's just a great date for this funky Friday night
You're always so uptight
And dad is all bark and zero bite
Whatever, go fly a flippin' kite
You're not the boss of this funky
I know that I'm not quite
Some kind of Greek God or shining knight
Your daughter still thinks that I'm all right
So maybe don't wreck her funky Friday night
It's clear we aren't that tight
But maybe one day you'll see the light
And then we'll get past this and unite
Around our shared love of funkin'
Friday night