Plasticized

Erin Anne

I try to give you milk and honey
Only dust and flies come out
Icky glitter on my eyes
A garbage pile inside my mouth

I am too quiet to be human
And too still to be alive
I am not a thing of nature
Just an old robot inside

And I remember I'm a body
That was not taught to be touched
And as the walls close in
I think about how hard I am to love

Not because I am unworthy
Because I point a gun
At the people who believe in me
And follow when I run

God didn't make me to be touched
She meant me to be cold
She meant me to be crushed

There's a ball pit in my stomach
Where there should be butterflies
But I've learned how I can kill them
Now they've all been plasticized

And they conceal the clowns I swallowed
In my sleep when I was four
If I cry I will release them
I won't have control no more

I want to live with tenderness
I'm gonna heal my wounds so I can live to hurt her less
I want to live with tenderness
I'm gonna heal my wounds so I can live to hurt her less

I want to live with tenderness
I'm gonna heal my wounds so I can live to hurt her less
I want to live with tenderness
I'm gonna heal my wounds so I can live to hurt her less

Tracker

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