And He Used To Be The Sweetest Boy
Luke Lotus
My
My
My
My boy say 'bout me
He used to hold the door like the world was gentle
Like nothing bad could ever reach me there
His voice was soft, his hands were careful
Like love was something you protected, not something you shared
He used to listen when I spoke in pieces
Collect my silence like it meant something real
And I believed in the way he looked at me
Like I was safe, like I could finally feel
I remember laughing without looking over my shoulder
Sleeping without bracing for pain
I remember a version of me that trusted him
And that's the part I can't explain
My baby say 'bout me
Somewhere between the before and the after
I lost him without a goodbye
And now I'm mourning a boy who still breathes
Just not in the same light
They say 'bout me, but no in front my face
And he used to be the sweetest boy
Before the love turned sharp and cold
Before his words learned how to destroy
The things he promised he would hold
And he used to be the safest place
Now he's the reason I can't sleep
I don't miss who he is today
I miss who he used to be
He used to be
He used to be me
He used to be
Before the damage, before the line
My boo say 'bout me
He used to kiss my forehead slowly
Like time had nowhere else to go
Now every touch feels like a warning
Like something I already know
I watched his kindness fade in pieces
Like a light learning how to die
And I stayed longer than I should have
Just to keep the memory alive
My boy say
I tried to love him back to who he was
Tried to remind him of the boy I knew
But you can't save someone who's already gone
You just break trying to
And now I stand in the quiet aftermath
Holding ghosts that still feel warm
Grieving a love that didn't end
It just transformed
They say 'bout me, but no in front my face
And he used to be the sweetest boy
Before the love turned sharp and cold
Before his words learned how to destroy
The things he promised he would hold
And he used to be the safest place
'Now he's the reason I can't sleep
I don't miss who he is today
I miss who he used to be
He used to be
A reason to believe
He used to be
Everything I couldn't leave
I'm not in love with who I am
I'm in love with a memory that hurts
With a version of him that only exists
In the parts of me, he is my reflection, first touched
And maybe that's the cruelest truth of all
You don't just lose someone, you lose yourself
The boy who thought love was always soft
The boy who didn't need to protect herself
So iet him go for the last time
Not because stopped caring or tried
But because finally understood
That staying was how he died
They say 'bout me, but no in front my face
And he used to be the sweetest boy
Before the love turned sharp and cold
Before his words learned how to destroy
The things he promised he would hold
And he used to be the safest place
Now he's the reason I can't sleep
I don't miss who he is today
I miss who he used to be
I just say I am he
He used to be
And that's where he'll stay